A Matter of Perception
by Steamboat Ghost
Summary: Post war story involving Zuko and Katara's children as they interact with their parents, their cousin, and, oblivious to her past, their aunt Azula. Future chapters will continue to reveal what happened between the war's end and current events.


**Author's Note:** This story has been cycling around my head since before the show ended and I've been trying to get it in writing since. What began as an idea for just some cute interaction between a married Zuko and Katara and their kids has evolved into a complex post war story taking place fifteen years after the war and filling in what happened during those fifteen years along the way. My primary reason for taking so long to write this has been trying to figure out all the ins and outs of the post war setting, and while most of these details aren't mentioned this chapter, they'll certainly come up in future chapters.

Two technical (and trivial) bits: Event's taking place in teh past are indicated by two line breaks for the sake of clarification. Also, the name Aella can have several pronunciations, but for this story I choose to pronounce it"Ay-luh".

I'd especially like to thank fuzzytomato for constant encouragement and helping me find and edit all the little mistakes I'm especially prone to making. And, with nothing else to say, I hope you enjoy and I'll see what I can do about writing more :)

* * *

A trickle of sweat runs down a young boy's brow as he performs his firebending form, amber gaze intense as he focuses on the final movement. He steps forward with one foot, slides the other and extends his arm to emit a burst of orange flame before retracting the arm and bringing his feet together, ending his performance with closed eyes and bows to the imaginary audience, hearing their cheers in his head.

The sound of a single pair of hands clapping awaken him from his daydream and he looks up with a surprised grin to see his father crossing the training ground.

Fire Lord Zuko wears a smile of his own which only broadens when he sees his son beaming back at him as he praises, "That was fantastic, Korin."

"Dad! You came to watch!" Korin exclaims as he dashes over to his father, continuing enthusiastically, "Sifu Chey says I'm a fast learner and next week we're going start the next training level!"

"Chey is right, you'll be even better than me soon," Zuko says, ruffling his son's hair out of the top knot that had matched his own only a moment before.

"Pff," Korin puffs as he dodges away from Zuko's hand, grabbing a towel and wiping his brow, "no one's better than you."

Zuko grins, laughing inwardly, knowing well over a handful of benders more powerful than he.

"Where is Chey? Wasn't he watching too?"

"_Sifu _Chey," Zuko begins, nudging his son for missing the man's title, "mentioned something about misplacing some scrolls and needing to find them for your homework."

"Homework," Korin repeats with a sigh of disgust, tossing the towel down.

Smirking at his son's displeasure, Zuko adds, "Come on, if we leave now you can miss whatever calligraphy lesson he's got in store for you. Lets find your mother and sister."

"Alright! Thanks dad," Korin crows, thankful to be escaping from his schooling, with his father no less.

As they leave the training ground, Zuko watches his son run ahead, twisting into firebending forms and pretending to shoot flames in all directions. Fire is dangerous and Zuko's pleased that though his son is so enthusiastic to bend, he still respects his element enough not to actually use it in his games. Firebending's not a toy, he had once told Aang many years ago. You can't use it to zip around a room or--

"Dad, how come you don't train me?" Korin asks, interrupting Zuko's thoughts, "Mom teaches Nikita waterbending, why don't you teach me firebending?"

Startled from his thoughts, Zuko looks at Korin quizzically, "What do you mean? I teach you. Remember when we practiced together?"

"Yeah, but that was just for fun. Why don't you teach me all the time?"

"Well," Zuko begins, tapping his chin, unsure how to answer.

He's never wanted to have that kind of relationship with his son. A teacher has to be harsh on their pupil at times and thats something he's never wanted to be. He's his son's father, not his master.

"I guess it just wouldn't be appropriate," he answers, "I'm not much of a teacher anyway. Have you heard about the time when I had to teach the Avatar firebending?"

Korin snickers, saying only, "Fancy Pants and the Dragon Dance," before breaking into a fit of laughter.

Zuko laughs too. Clearly, its Toph's version of the story that Korin's heard, judging by the title equipped with her nickname for him.

A splash of water startles both father and son.

"Hey!" Korin cries indignantly, water dripping from his clothes.

"Got you!" his sister giggles from where she stands knee deep in the garden's fountain, arms still raised in her bending stance.

Zuko chuckles with his daughter but Korin remains scowling.

"Not funny, Nikita," he growls, trying to wipe the water from his drenched clothes in vain.

From the other side of the fountain the three hear Katara's laugh.

"That wasn't nice, Nikita," she chides with a smile as she steps out of the fountain and circles around to her husband and son.

"Though I'm sure you could use the splash down after all your firebending," she says, giving her indignant son a hug before raising her hands and pulling the water from his clothing.

"Hey, what about me?" Zuko asks, holding his arms out, gesturing for her to do the same to him.

"You're a full grown firebender, you can steam it off," Katara states with a teasing smirk.

The Fire Lord's brow raises and the left corner of his mouth curls as he gives her his 'not in front of the kids' look.

"Fine," she sighs in defeat, hanging her shaking head to hide the mischievous grin on her face as she bends the water from his clothing as well.

"Dad, look what mom showed me today," Nikita speaks up from beside her father.

Catching his attention, she dashes back to the edge of the fountain and let her arms hang out fluidly. Still smiling excitedly, she sweeps her hands upwards. Swallowing the panic that erupts in her stomach merely quivers, she bites her lip and tries again, succeeding in bringing a water blob into the air a moment before it collapses back into the pool.

"I..." she begins in disappointment.

"Nikita, we just started that today..." Katara says gently.

"But, I had it earlier..."

"You'll have it soon," Zuko reassures softly, stooping down to wrap an arm around his daughter, "I've watched you practice before and I'm always amazed by your bending."

Nikita turns in toward her father, hugging him, and her face breaks into a smile as stands up straight, hoisting her up with him.

"Fire Lord Zuko," a servant's voice alerts the family and everyone turns toward the messenger as he continues respectfully, "I'm sorry to interrupt. The Fire Sages have arrived and are waiting in the throne room."

"I completely forgot," Zuko exhales in frustration as he sets his daughter down, "I'm afraid I'll be missing lunch with you three."

His announcement is met with a pleading 'no' and questing 'dad?' from both his children as his wife asks, "The sages? Since when did--"

"I don't know," Zuko interrupts, "Something about current policies breaking Fire Nation tradition."

"I see," Katara replies, giving her husband a concerned look.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Zuko says, forcing a smile which she can't help but return, watching as he places a hand on both their children's shoulders, "Have a nice lunch with your mom."

Watching her husband leave with the messenger, Katara turns to smile down at her children, saying, "You kids get cleaned up, we'll have lunch out here when you're ready."

* * *

"Theres nothing to do," Korin complains, lying propped up on his elbows, watching the turtle ducks swim around aimlessly in the garden pond.

"You could help me clean up," his mother says playfully, placing the remains of their lunch in a basket.

"Hmm," Korin hums thoughtfully, "Nah."

Rolling her eyes, Katara suggests, "You could play with your sister."

"Ugh, not Nikita," her son replies with a pained expression, eyeing his sister under a nearby tree.

Holding up a doll dressed in a red robe, Nikita offers cheerily, "Come on Korin, you can pretend you're a charming prince instead of a grouchy, boring one."

"I am not grouchy," he defends, rolling over and sitting up.

"Just boring then," Nikita replies dismissively, not even looking in his direction but unable to hide the grin spreading across her face.

Scowling, Korin pulls himself upright, takes several steps forward and plops down next to her, taking the doll Nikita offered in his fist.

Raising a hand to hide her chuckling expression, Katara picks up her basket with the other hand, saying, "You two have fun."

Nikita busies herself with her other dolls while Korin stares at the doll in his hand with distaste, the little figure grining back at him stupidly.

"Ah, Prince Shu, it is such a pleasure to have you at our Solstice Ball," Nikita says in a sing song voice as she walks the doll in her hand over to Korin's.

"Why are the other guests dead?" Korin asks, looking at the other dolls lying on the ground in front of his sister.

"They're not dead, they're--"

"But they're all lying down."

"I can't hold them all up."

"Maybe they're all sleeping at the ball."

"It's pretend, Korin," Nikita says gruffly, "Use your imagination."

Clearing her throat, Nikita begins again in her doll's voice, "Prince Shu, would you like to meet our other guests?"

"I am not Prince Shu," Korin says, trying to deepen his voice, "I'm Sokka of the Water Tribe!"

Pinching a twig to the dolls hand, Korin proceeds to use the make shift sword to poke the party guests, declaring, "And these aren't party guests, they're bandits in disguise!"

"Korin!" Nikita shrieks angrily, "Play right!"

"Are you guys playing dolls?"

Both Korin and Nikita look up to see their cousin standing a short distance from them, eyeing them skeptically.

"No," Korin coughs, quickly disposing of the doll in his hand.

"Hey, Aella," Nikita greets the dark haired girl before snatching a doll up and glaring at her brother, "And yes, we were."

"Well, kind of," Korin admits before crawling up to his feet,"But I was just saying we should play something else."

"Can I play too?" the girl asks with a hopeful expression, brushing her stray bangs from her face, only to have them fall back where they were.

"Yep, but you have to follow the rules," Korin confirms.

"Hold on," Aella says, her braid whipping around as she turned and dashed over to her mother on the other end of the garden.

"Mom, can I play with Korin and Nikita?"

Standing statue-like, face expressionless, Azula nods, "Go ahead, Aella."

She had walked her daughter out to the garden, and seeing that she had found her friends, Azula turns to return to the palace, having other matters to take care of.

"So what are we playing?" Aella asks interestedly as she returns to her friends.

"Hmm..." Korin begins, rubbing his chin thoughtfully before declaring, "Pirates."

Rising to her feet as well, Nikita scoffs, "Pirates isn't a game, Korin."

"It is too," Korin insists, jumping up to grab hold of a branch and breaking it from the tree they've been sitting under, "There are pirates attacking the palace and we have to stop them."

Brandishing his stick like a sword, he continues, "I'm uncle Sokka, best warrior in the Water Tribe."

Giggling at her brother fighting invisible enemies with a stick, Nikita adds, "Okay, I'll be mom then, I'll use my waterbending."

"You can't be mom," Korin argues, still waving his stick.

"Fine, I'll be aunt Suki--"

"Eeww, then we have to be married," Korin states in horror, ending his imaginary dual abruptly, "I'll pick for you. How about you be...oh, oh! Be Toph!"

"_Aunt_ Toph," Nikita corrects, crossing her arms.

"Her name isn't _aunt Toph,_" Korin mimics, adding, "She's not really our aunt you know."

"But it isn't respectful to--"

"And she _hates_ it when you call her that."

"But--"

"Fine! You can be _aunt_ _Toph_," Korin says quickly, just wanting to be done arguing with his sister. Turning to his cousin, he asks, "Who are you gonna be, Aella?"

"My mom of course," she answers readily.

"You can't be Azula," Korin says, shaking his head, "Be someone else."

"Actually," Aella begins, smirking teasingly, "Maybe we could play dolls instead..."

"Fine!" Korin concedes, "You can be Azu_—aunt _Azula," he says, correcting himself as Nikita begins to open her mouth.

Glancing at both girls to make sure they weren't going to pose any more arguments, he begins authoritatively, "Alright, Aella, you're Azula and you've been captured by the pirates," directing Aella to the tree trunk, "Pretend you're tied up. Nikita and I will rescue you, then we have to warn the Fire Lord about the pirates."

Dashing across the garden with his sister in tow, Korin speaks on his Sokka voice again, "Okay, Toph, ready to go?"

"Uh...Korin, I'm not an earthbender," Nikita says plainly.

"It's pretend, Nikita," Korin growls, "Use your imagination or don't play."

"Alright, alright, I was just kidding," Nikita exhales as she dashes after her brother, "Korin, er, I mean, Sokka, wait up!"

* * *

"That was quick," Katara states, setting down the scroll she had been reading and standing as Zuko approaches her.

He places a kiss on her lips, pulling away to respond, "Surprisingly, it was."

Katara waits a moment expectantly before breaking into a smile, "Well, what happened?"

"I told them to come back when they felt like being reasonable," Zuko says simply, putting a hand on the scroll Katara had been reading and examining it.

"You did not," she gasps in disbelief, her eyes widening, her mouth hanging open but refraining from laughter. He simply smirks and tilts his head a few degrees, still pretending to read the scroll.

"You did," she finally says, letting her lighthearted laughter escape..

"They had it coming," Zuko insists with as serious a face as he can muster, trying not to laugh with her.

Katara simply grins, but suddenly it dies away and creases into a frown. Zuko looks at her uncertainly, realizes she's looking over his shoulder, and turns to see his sister approaching them.

Eyes glancing from one to the other, Azula opens her mouth to speak as she walks forward, "Zuko, we've just received information regarding the--"

She stops abruptly, pulling her arms up, eyes blinking in surprise as Korin and Nikita blow past her. Aella isn't far behind and she dashes past her mother as well, saying a quick 'hi mom' as she goes.

"Fire Lord, Fire Lord!" Both Korin and Nikita cry unison, faces lit up in excitement.

Stooping down, recognizing a game was afoot, Zuko asks wide eyed, "What is it, what is it?"

"Zuko," Azula speaks up over the children, recovered from their entrance and looking at her brother determinedly.

Zuko glances up at her, responding calmly, "It can wait, Azula," before returning to his children, "What's wrong?"

"Pirates!" Nikita cries, before coughing and folding her arms, replying casually, "Me 'n Snoozles tried to fight em' off, but theres just too many."

"Snoozles?" Katara laughs,.

Korin nods, brandishing his pretend sword, pretending to talk like his uncle, "We saved Azula," he says, pulling Aella to him.

Katara smiles despite herself. The idea of saving Azula... She loves Aella like she was one of her own, but Azula is a complete other story.

Kneeling down, she asks, "Are you okay princess? The pirates didn't hurt you I hope."

Aella grins at her aunt, shaking her head that no, the pirates hadn't bothered her.

"What should we do, Fire Lord?" Korin asks his dad, face set in seriousness.

Zuko rubs his chin thoughtfully, before saying, "Sokka, Toph, Azula; I need you to defeat the pirate captain. He's out in the garden right now. He--"

Thats all he can say before his children and niece dash away, fighting imaginary pirates as they go.

Breaking into a grin, he stands upright and, facing his his sister, he asks, "Now, what news do you have for me?"

Eyes darting away from the children, Azula makes eye contact with her brother, stating, "We've received word from Ba Sing Se regarding the Earth Kingdom's unrest. The Council is demanding that the Fire Nation help put an end to the increasing rebellions."

"The Fire Nation is done fighting," Zuko responds plainly, "We're not sending troops to end strife in a Nation thats not ours, especially since they can't stand us there to begin with and when Ba Sing Se is unwilling to devote its own resources to--"

"It's different this time, Zuko," Azula interrupts in a warning tone, "They want not only our soldiers, but our resources. They're demanding that we pay for the damages of Sozin's War."

"We've already made the agreed reprimands at the war's end, they can't just decide we owe them more!" Zuko declares angrily, "It's been fifteen years and we haven't even taken care of our own Nations problems, how do they expect us to help with theirs? We don't have the resources to help them and maintain our own Nation. They can't expect--"

"Regardless of what they expect," Azula interrupts in a tone that seems almost harsh but succeeds in disarming Zuko's anger, "They're making their demands again and require a response from you personally."

Sighing deeply, hanging his head a moment, Zuko looks back to his sister as she waits patiently, "Is there anything else?"

Azula nods, hesitates, looking away a moment before speaking, "We're working hard to avoid the same problems the Earth Kingdom is facing and as you're aware, so far things have gone relatively well. But..."

"But?" Katara demands, lines forming between her eyes.

"We've reason to believe there may be a plot to put you out of power, or at least contest it," Azula says, making eye contact with her sister in law. Katara looks away, unwilling and unable to to meet the woman's gaze.

"Zuko," Azula says, tone softening in a way that prompts both Zuko and Katara to look in her direction as she finishes gently, "It's only important that you know and are aware. We have things under control and you don't need to worry."

Smiling weakly, Zuko nods, "Thank you, Azula."

Zuko notices the tightness in her cheeks fade away as she relaxes and he hopes she'll return his smile. It's something he rarely sees and...but she merely closes her eyes and bows before turning and leaving.

As she disappears around a corner, Katara speaks up in a hushed tone, "Zuko, do you really think its wise to be trusting her with information like this--"

"We've talked about this, Katara," Zuko states, glancing at her severely.

"And that means we can't talk about it anymore? Zuko, this is serious," She states, glaring at him, "I didn't agree when you put her in this position in the first place and now your being threatened and we don't even know by who, don't you think, given her past..."

She trails off, not needing to finish her sentence but adding pleadingly, "Think of your family."

"Azula is my sister. She is family."

Katara stares at him in frustration, raises a hand slowly and taps the center of her husbands chest, "Remember this? She tried to kill you. She tried to kill me..."

"Katara," Zuko says, taking her outstretched hand in both of his, "I know you've never forgiven her and I know you don't trust her. But I'll ask you again, please , trust me."

"Zuko," she sighs tiredly, turning her slowly shaking head away from him.

He responds only by taking her in his arms, lacking anything more to say.

* * *

--

* * *

Years ago...

"It's been so long since we've seen Zuko," Katara says as she walks with Aang down the palace corridor. She glances at the Avatar to see him gazing at her and it prompts a suspicious, "What?" from her lips.

"Oh, it's just been awhile since I've seen you in Fire Nation attire," Aang comments, breaking into a teasing grin.

"Aang," Katara hisses under her breath, her cheeks reddening, "I knew spending time in town before seeing Zuko was a bad idea."

Aang's taken aback expression brings a smirk to her face and she snickers, "Although you are looking like quite the hotman in that new outfit--"

"Aang, Katara!" Zuko spouts with surprise as he emerges from behind a draped doorway.

"Zuko!" Katara shouts excitedly, throwing her arms around the Fire Lord.

"Greetings your Fire Lordiness," Aang greets with a laugh, bowing low to the ground.

"Zuko, we wanted to surprise you, its been--" Katara begins before she cuts herself off, face shocked into frozen horror as Azula emerges from the doorway behind Zuko.

Twirling the Fire Lord out of harms way, uncorking her water skin in the same motion, Katara sends a stream of water blasting into Azula's chest, throwing her forcefully to the wall where the water suddenly freezes, holding her in place.

"Katara, no!" Zuko shouts, recovered from her push and grabbing a hold of the waterbender, trying to restrain her.

"Zuko, whats going on," Aang demands, staff held defensively as he keeps his eyes trained on Azula where she stands frozen.

Azula's expression remains in a state of shocked expectation, blinking rapidly as she watches Katara try to wrest out of Zuko's arms.

"Zuko, its Azula, she's—Let go of me!" She demands fiercely, shoving her friend off her, "She's going to be free of that ice any second."

"It's not what you think!" Zuko continues, holding his hands up disarmingly, "She's not here to hurt me, I...I let her go."

"You what?!"

Zuko glances from each of his friends startled faces, both letting their guard down suddenly to confront him with horrified expressions.

"I let her go," he sighs, arms dropping to his sides as he tries to explain,"She's changed, she's not who she used to be. Now please, unfreeze her."

"Have you lost your mind!" Katara shouts in disbelief.

"Zuko..." Aang begins in bewilderment, "Are you...is she?"

The Fire Lord nods. Katara glances at Aang momentarily and then stares back at Zuko, "No, no this isn't--"

The avatar raises a hand and suddenly the ice that holds their old enemy melts away. Without the ice to support her, Azula collapses to her knees at the base of the wall. With another flick of his wrist Aang pulls the water away, wisping it back into the pouch that hangs across Katara's back.

Zuko is at his sister's side in a moment, helping her back to her feet, saying softly, "It's okay, I'll talk with them."

Azula shoots an apprehensive glance toward Katara before lowering her head to look at the floor.

"Thank you," she says barely above a whisper to her brother before leaving the three of them.

"I know this is a shock to you guys, but if you'll let me explain," Zuko begins.

Glaring at Zuko, Katara wordlessly turns around and paces away, the opposite direction Azula had gone. Neither Zuko or Aang try to stop her.

"She--"Aang begins defensively on Katara's behalf.

"I understand," Zuko interrupts.

Aang and Zuko stand silent a moment before Aang speaks up, "What happened to her? I've never seen your sister so...I don't know. She didn't even try to melt out of the ice."

Zuko nodded slowly, "You remember when I told you she broke down, a year ago the day the war ended?"

"Because she had lost, because everything she had done to get ahead was all in vain," Aang finished, repeating what Zuko had told him a year ago.

"There was more to it than that," Zuko explained, shaking his head, "I didn't see it, didn't want to believe it at first, but when she broke down, I think she finally felt sorry. Not sorry that she had lost, but sorry for what'd she'd done. Everything she'd done."

Nodding, a smile spread across Aang's face as he began, "This is great news, Zuko. I've always believed in the good in everyone and that everyone deserves a chance. Well, not always, but you taught me that even those we consider our worst enemies can turn out to be our friends."

Zuko breaks into a smile at Aang's statement as the young Avatar asks, "So, if she's not plotting murder or trying to conquer the world...I mean, I can't even imagine her--"

Zuko's grin drops. The way Aang casually references Azula's former behavior bothers him and he explains with a slight bite in his voice, "She feels guilty. She believes she deserves nothing short of death and she acts accordingly."

Aang looks at Zuko with concern, both for Azula and for his friend's obvious worry over the subject as he asks, "Do you want me to talk to her?"

"If you think you can help her," Zuko answers, glancing in the direction Katara had taken, "I should probably apologize to Katara, try to explain things better."

Aang nods, before heading off in the direction Azula had taken.

"Aang," Zuko says, prompting the Avatar to stop and turn around, "Be gentle with her. She's frail. She's not a dragon anymore."

Aang nods, breaking into a grin, "I'd say the same to you, but Katara's like two dragons. Be careful."

Zuko half smiles and shakes his head at Aang's humored warning.

* * *

"My mother used to sit there," Zuko says, looking down where Katara sits in the garden. "She'd come to feed the--"

Katara glances at Zuko out the corner of her eyes as he begins speaking, looks back into the pond before interrupting, "You've told me before."

Zuko's mouth remains open a moment before it closes and forms a small frown. He searches for something to say, opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to the punch.

"So where's Mai," she asks casually, but Zuko doesn't miss the edge to her tone.

"She's..." he begins before halting, trying to recall _where, _exactly, she was.

Katara looks up expectantly and when Zuko doesn't respond, continuing to avoid her gaze, she asks incredulously, "You don't know where your girlfriend is?"

"I do!" Zuko responds quickly, then swallowing hard, "I mean...I did. I've been busy, you know...paperwork."

Katara exhales sharply, rolling her eyes and turning away from him.

"She's visiting her parents," Zuko suddenly answers, remembering that she was helping them move into their new home outside the capital.

Katara shoots him a skeptical glance and Zuko answers defensively, "Look, it just slipped my mind, theres a lot going on around here--"

"Yeah, I can see that," Katara interrupts again, standing to her feet, "What is wrong with you? How could you be so stupid? How could you just let her go?"

Zuko almost responds that Mai was only away temporarily, that she'd be back, but bites his tongue before he can sound so stupid. She was talking about his sister, not Mai.

"Katara, she's changed!" Zuko states, "You saw her, after the Agni Kai, you saw her breakdown--"

"I saw her go insane!" Katara shouts in his face, "Your sister lost her mind and she would have killed you!"

She continues staring at him but her anger washes from her features. She raises a hand and places it in the center of his chest where the scar still hides under his clothing from that lightning that had been meant for her.

"She tried to kill me."

Zuko holds her gaze, taking her hand in both of his, "I know what she did and she knows what she did and for the first time in her life she's sorry. Sorry for everything, Katara. I have _never_ seen Azula sorry about anything before this."

"It's not enough," Katara says, closing her eyes and shaking her head, "Zuko, it's not enough that she's sorry, that she's changed. She doesn't deserve to be free and could never deserve it."

"Did I deserve it, when I changed, when I was sorry," Zuko demands.

"Yes!" Katara belts back, "Yes you did, you proved yourself, you helped end the war. You made up for everything. Your sister, she's done nothing--"

"So what should I do? Banish her? Maybe I can give her a scar to match mine before I send her on her way to try to redeem herself," Zuko shouts.

"Is that was this is about?" Katara asks in disbelief, "You think that giving your sister what she deserves makes you like your father?"

Zuko looks away from her a moment, glancing back out the corner of his eye.

"Zuko, there are evil people in the world and they should get what they deserve and you're not one of them for withholding mercy."

"I know that," Zuko answers under his breath, "And I know my sister isn't one of those people anymore either."

Katara opens her mouth to speak, closes it, then folds her arms, staring at the grass at their feet, she starts softly, "How can you be sure? How do you know this isn't a trap?"

Zuko responds simply, "It's not."

She sighs in frustration, shaking her head, "You're so stubborn and its going to get you killed. What am I going to do, Zuko. What am I going to do when I find out she's--"

The look Zuko gives her freezes the 'kills you' that's begun to form in her mouth and she changes course saying, "What do you want from me? I can't just accept this. Aang might, but I don't and never will. She's tried to kill all of us and that's not something I will forget."

"I just...needed to explain myself to you," Zuko answers, "I won't ask you to accept it, but please, even if this is a mistake, let me make it."

"And if it is a mistake and this all comes crumbling down on you, what do I get?" Katara demands, crossing her arms, smirking despite the worry she feels, "What do I get when I show up and say 'told you so'?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something," he replies, forcing a smile, "I'll leave room for it in my will."

"You're terrible," she chuckles lightly, glancing toward the palace entrance.

"Come on," Zuko says, catching her glance, "Lets find Aang and get some dinner."

* * *

"So, uh, hi," Aang begins, standing in the doorway of the palace library below shelves upon shelves of books and scrolls.

Azula's head shoots up from where she sits at hearing his voice, eyes wide as her head whirls around to see the Avatar standing casually in the doorway. Her eyes narrow and she rises from her seat.

"I'm sorry for Katara," Aang says after a moment of silence, "She can be a little, uh..."

"Her actions were justified," Azula answers blankly, "I deserved it."

Aang raises an eyebrow, mouth trying to form a response but not finding one.

"So," he begins, searching for a new conversational direction, "I didn't expect to find you in here. You never really struck me as a book person."

"I'm not," Azula states as Aang approaches her and examines the book on the table, prompting him glance her dierction. Her expression remains completely impassive as she speaks again, "I used to burn books when I was younger."

"Oh-kay," Aang says slowly, adding 'Awwwkward' to his internal monologue before adding jokingly, "I see you've begun reading books instead of burning them though, thats a good start."

Azula avoids his gaze almost immediately, looking to the floor, speaking quietly, "I don't firebend anymore."

Aang feels the urge to ask why but he only looks at her questioningly, concernedly.

Her eyes rise a moment to read his expression, fall again, and she continues, "My firebending has always put me ahead. I was the best and I knew it. It was all that mattered. I didn't need to feel sorry for anyone that got in my way, because I was the best. I had the power and...and it consumed me."

Aang understands her easily. He's not a stranger to power and its consuming nature, the Avatar State having taken control of him on more than one occasion. But he had always been strong enough to overcome it and in the end, control it. From what Azula tells him, he believes she was never strong enough control the power within her and so it controlled her.

Glancing back to to Azula's book, Aang asks, "And so you're reading...poetry?"

She turns to look down at the book with him, explaining, "My mother would read it, and write it. I never understood any of it. It was always just a bunch of words."

She pauses, glancing over the poem open to them both, before speaking again, "Sometimes its good not to understand something. When you understand it, when you have mastery of it, you have power. And power...I can't. I can't bear it."

Aang glances from the writing to her profile. Her eyes are closed again and her jaw tightens.

"No one conquered the word with the power of poetry," Aang says gently with a smile.

The corners of her lips pull up in what resembles a smile, her head flinching slightly as she exhales sharply in what Aang takes for the most laughter she can muster.

"I know what its like, the power," he says again seriously, and she glances at him with uncertainty, "The Avatar State is something I used to fear, because when I entered it, I wasn't in control anymore. But in time, I learned how to control it. Maybe you could do the same, with your bending, learn to control it, how to keep it from--"

"I made my choices," Azula states darkly, "They were mine and I made them ignoring every whisper from my conscience. But...when I couldn't control my own thoughts...when I..." she stops a moment, then looks to Aang distantly. "After I fought Zuko and your friend, the whispers became shouts. I wanted to ignore them, wanted to dismiss them as I'd always done, but couldn't. For the first time I was powerless."

Aang nods, saying, "You realized that all along your power, bending or otherwise, could never justify your actions, though you might have thought they did at the time."

Azula regards Aang carefully. He gives her more credit than she deserves. The Avatar seems to think she's redeemed herself through feeling sorrow and regret. Zuko says that while the past is always a part of you, mercy is a virtue that allows you to be a new person. But Azula feels no redemption, feels like the same person and hates herself for being what she was, what she is. She's bad, evil, and only she and the Avatar's waterbending friend seems to understand it.

"I'm sorry," she finally says, "I'm sorry for everything--"

Aang holds up a hand for her to stop, saying, "I'll tell you the same thing I told Zuko. If we're going to be friends, you don't have to apologize for the past."

Her mouth falls open slightly at the word 'friend' but Azula doesn't respond.

Aang smiles, asking, "I bet its about time for dinner, would you join Zuko, Katara, and I?"

"I think it would be better if I stayed here," she responds.

Aang nods and turns to leave.

"Thank you," she manages quietly as he reaches the door.

He turns, acknowledges her with a smile before disappearing through the doorway.

* * *

--

* * *

"Aaarrrgggh!" Korin howls, rolling across the grass, "It's up to you, Toph!"

Nikita takes a wide stance and raises her arms and throws an imaginary boulder, shouting, "Earthbending, go!"

"You missed!" Aella cries in astonishment.

"I didn't miss--"

"And look!" Aella interupts, ignoring her cousin and pointing to the stick stuck end first in the grass, "The captain has Sokka's sword!"

"I'll get it back," Nikita replies, making a run for the stick.

"Toph, you have to protect Azula," Korin says, still pretending he's dying on the battlefield.

"It's okay, I can protect myself with firebending," Aella says, waving her arms in a defensive manner.

Nikita stops running to look at her cousin and Korin complains, "That's cheating, Azula's not a firebender."

"What? She is too!" Aella insists.

"Is not," Korin argues, sitting up.

"Aella, your mom isn't a bender," Nikita says, looking at her cousin in confusion.

"And even if she was," Korin says, now on his feet and crossing his arms, "I've never seen her firebend."

"Well, me neither..." Aella admits, glancing at her feet, "But she's is a firebender, really. She'll show you that I'm right."

* * *

Azula sits in the palace library, absorbing the silence as well as the writing in her hands. The sound of footsteps drumming across the stone floor brings her away from the scroll and she stands to her feet as her daughter, niece, and nephew come to a halt in front of her.

"Mom, Korin and Nikita don't believe me that you're a firebender," Aella spits out, crossing to her mother before turning around to face her cousins, "Would you show them? Show them you're a firebender?"

Aella misses the crease of her mother's brow as her eyes suddenly awaken from their impassive gaze.

Korin and Nikita glance at each other uncertainly, catching the change in Azula's demeanor, before Korin ventures uncertainly, careful to speak respectfully, "Aunt Azula, are you really a firebender?"

"That--" Azula begins, her voice tiny and catching in her throat. She coughs before reopening her mouth, "That's something you should ask your father."

"We're sorry, aunt Azula," Nikita apologizes apprehensively, "We didn't mean to bother you."

"It's okay," Azula answers simply, avoiding her nieces apologetic stare, asking quietly, "Would you two leave Aella and I alone. She'll be back to play in a bit."

Korin and Nikita nod, unsure what to think of their aunt's behavior and they both head for the exit, calmly at first but breaking into a dash as they near the door.

"Mom, why didn't you show them," Aella asks in miserable disappointment, watching her friends leave, "They would have believed me if you just showed them."

Azula looks down at her daughter's pleading expression gravely. She doesn't know how the girl found out she was a firebender, but it hardly matters. Its not a secret and she would have found out eventually and Azula be forced to tell her daughter, the child that adores her for reasons Azula has never fully understood or known how to react to, how terrible she was and is.

"I can't," Azula manages after a long breath, closing her eyes, speaking distantly, "I promised myself. I promised I would never bend again and I can't break that promise, even for you."

"Why?" Aella asks innocently, a mixture of confusion and curiosity on her face.

"Because..." Azula begins before biting her lip, having difficulty finding the words and turning away from her daughter, unable to hold the girl's gaze as memories flood her mind, explaining, "when I bend, I become someone I don't like to be..." Monster, monster, monster the voice of her childhood chants. "...I become a monster."

Aella doesn't miss her mother's pained expression and as she tries to comprehend the woman's words she asks slowly, "Is that why I'm not allowed to bend?"

Her gaze drops to her feet, "Will I become a monster?"

"No!" Azula gasps out quickly in surprise, the thought of her daughter being anything like she was as a child consuming her as she whirls around and drops to her knees, taking the girl by the shoulders, "Not at all."

Aella stares wide eyed at her mother, startled by her sudden show of emotion. Still holding her daughter, Azula meets the girl's frightened gaze, her voice still retaining some of it's intensity as she explains, "You're not allowed to bend because you're special and no one can know, not right now."

"Why?"

Shaking her head slowly, frowning apologetically, Azula replies, "Thats just the way it has to be. Promise me you won't tell anyone; you won't bend in front of anyone and you won't tell anyone about it."

"Mom, I already—"

"Promise me," Azula commands softly, her tone sharpening.

"Okay," Aella responds quickly, her questions only half answered but unwilling to press her mother any further, "I promise."

Nodding in acknowledgment, Azula rises to her feet, her mind already retreating into itself, leaving behind the little girl in front of her. Her thoughts remain on her daughter however, her own firebending predicament forgotten. She doesn't want to put her daughter through this, making her keep secrets, hide her bending, but she feels too much is at stake to do otherwise.

Before Azula can turn to leave, she's torn from her thoughts as Aella's arms wrap around her waist, the girls' head resting against her.

"I love you mom."

Mouth twitching into a fragile smile, Azula places a hand tenderly on the back of Aella's head. She's never been the affectionate type, but for her daughter, for Aella, the barriers she's built against her own emotions crack and she experiences feelings she believes she could never deserve.

* * *

"Korin?" Nikita ventures, brushing aside the drapery between their rooms.

"What?" her brother asks, not turning to face her as he fastens the last button of his night gown, watching himself do so through a mirror mounted on the wall.

"Did you..." she begins, stopping a moment, then continuing, "Did you talk to dad about aunt Azula?"

"You're still thinking about that?" Korin asks, turning from the mirror, "I told you, Azula just said to ask him because she wasn't going to punish us herself. If we ask dad he'll get mad and then we'll be in trouble."

"You're just scared," Nikita taunts, hoping that she'll convince him to ask with her.

"No, I'm just smart," Korin replies, walking past her and diving into bed, turning toward her once before settling back down, "And if you're smart too you'll forget about it. Azula isn't a firebender, she would have showed us if she was."

"Don't you care about why she was so upset though?" Nikita demands.

"No," comes Korin's muffled reply from under his pillow.

Nikita lets out an exasperated growl as she turns on her heel and returns to her own room. She listens as her parents enter his room, say goodnight, and waits apprehensively for them to do the same for her.

Katara enters first and a flash of concern crosses her face at Nikita's expression.

"Is something wrong?" she asks gently as she sits at her daughter's bedside.

"No," Nikita says, quickly breaking into a smile, sitting up and hugging her mother before asking, "Will we waterbend tomorrow?"

"Mm-hmm," Katara confirms with a smile.

Zuko enters the room, sitting next to his wife and Nikita's quick to ask, "Will you watch me tomorrow, dad?"

"Of course," Zuko agrees, "And you can show me everything you've learned."

Nikita beams at her father as her mother leans over and kisses her saying, "Goodnight sweetie."

Zuko does the same as Katara and just before he can follow Katara out the door, grasping her covers nervously, asks, "Dad, can I talk to you about something?"

Zuko turns and looks at his daughter concernedly, returning to her bedside asking, "What's wrong, Nikita?"

"Is aunt Azula a firebender?" Nikita questions anxiously.

"What?" Zuko asks with a start.

"Korin, Aella and I were playing, and Aella was Azula, and then she pretended to firebend and she said her mom was a firebender and we went to ask Azula and--"

"You bothered your aunt about this," Zuko interrupts his daughter's streaming explanation sternly.

"We just wanted to know," Nikita answers with distress, "But dad--"

"I don't want you to mention firebending to your aunt again," Zuko states severely, "Or talk about it with your brother or friends."

Nikita hangs her head at Zuko's reprimand, speaking quietly, "She looked scared. Scared and sad when we asked her. She told us to talk to you about it. I was worried about her."

Zuko's breath hitches as he tries to respond but immediately deflates in the presence of his daughter's innocence and concern.

"I didn't mean to get upset with you," he says gently, brushing his daughter's hair with a hand. She sniffs hard, wiping an eye with her palm as Zuko continues, "When Azula was a little girl, she did some very bad things with her firebending and she was so sorry that she promised never to bend again. When people talk about her bending, it reminds her of all the bad things she did."

Nikita listens intently to her father and as he speaks and her eyes suddenly focus on the scar around his left eye as if seeing it for the first time. She knows its a burn but...could Azula have done it? Is that what she did that was so bad?

"What did she do?" she asks before she can stop herself.

"It's not something we talk about anymore," he says calmly.

"Is that why she got so sad?"

Zuko nods.

"I'm sorry," Nikita apologizes, sniffling once more, "I won't talk about it ever again."

"It's okay," Zuko reassures, "Thats very thoughtful of you not to talk about it, I'm sure your aunt appreciates it. You don't have worry about this anymore. I love you and so does Azula."

"Okay," Nikita answers softly.

"Goodnight," Zuko says tenderly, tucking her in.

Nikita rolls over, immediately ruffling the covers he had straightened around her as she closes her eyes replying distantly, "Goodnight, dad."


End file.
